Cause I had this friend, and one time, at band camp, well… let’s just say… she lost her own phone. Actually come to think of it… she must not have, cause she kept asking everyone to call her. Anyway… I was still curious if you have it or not… well I should be more specific… if you can TALK on it or not… ‘Cause I have some BIG BIG BIG news! I can’t share on the site yet… but it’s HUGE. Like the size of your hair on the most humidest day EVER.

XOXO and junk…

did you hear? There were like a b’gillion people swearing at the new president today! How rude… I mean, I understand when they do it to me, Bcause I cause people to have that verbal diarrhea thing and I’m so sexy they can’t help it… but that poor man has taken on the thankless job of fixing all the crap George Bush… oh hell we all know it was really Dick Cheney… so all the crap Dick Cheney did. And people were swearing as he came in. Er something like that… The media is all over it.
Poor dear…
Hey… did you make it inside yet?
XOXO and Junk

I really don’t know why you need to call me “In-the-morning” I mean I like MaryLou perfectly well, but it’s just how the saying goes… You know… anyway…

Bufferella…

sweetie…

FOCUS…

See I know how you LOVE short sentences…

Here we go luv… little question:

After you bumped in Stormy…

did you apologize? Cause you soooo never apologize when you run in to me. No Ma’am… You know you don’t… not that time you ran into on your roller skatese, or that time with the car, or the golf cart, or even that time with the forklift… nope… well, ok, I’ll be fair… maybe you did, but if I am not conscious it doesn’t really count Poodle.

Hey… tell Stormy to call me she sounds totally hot. Or cold… I don’t know what kinda storm yet I guess. I picture like a more younger sister to that haley berry mutant chick in that X movie thing… no Buffy… not tripleX, just a single one… it’s not naughty, I promise.

Anyway… I guess Stormy can email too… cause calling is sooo last milenium. Hey yeah, she can use the form on this here site!

XOXO and Junk.

So… like… Yeah… aaaaa maaaaaa gaaaaaa…
OK… First the Good News: I FINALLY got on TV.
Now the bad news: You know that show “Locked up Abroad?” Yeah… or in my case it could also be “Locked up *A BROAD*” – Get it?

Yeah but this time it wasn’t my fault, I swear!

I went on a quick trip to Columbia… and, well, I was planning on being back before Midnight on the 31rst… but, well, I met this SUPER cute boy…. ok he was totally 100% man, but I like to say boy… I just do… don’t judge me… anyway… I was totally GAGA ’cause he was all like… I luv chu… that was his accent.. super cute… anyway… he says to me… “Baby… I am heading back to the massachusetts later, but I have lots of the bags… and it ‘cost-es’ lots of monies if you have lots of extra baaags on the airlines… so can you take one back for me? It’s all my chooose…”  - which after a few minutes I realized meant shoes… so I was like… OMG… he trusts me with his SHOES?

This must totally be love…

Yeah… no… it wasn’t shoes… cause when I got to the airport… those sniffer dogs… yeah… they were smelling more than loafers…. 

So this like policewoman comes over and she’s all like… get in this jail, broad. So, being as compliant as I am, I naturally complied… BAAAAAHAHAHAHAAHA… I know… I couldn’t even say that without laughing… anyway… once they shot me with a tranquilizer I woke up in the icky jail cell with some woman named Stella. Er Stanley… I wasn’t sure, I didn’t really pay that close of attention cause she was SOOOO not willing to understand me no matter how loud I yelled my answers. RUDE. Anyway… Thankfully I had my “Get out of Jail Free” card from playing Monopoly right before I left for my trip, so I used it. Don’t ask where I had it stored though… you really don’t wanna know…

anyway…

Moral of the story? Always cheat at monopoly before you travel.

Oh and Buffy… sorry you missed the new year… but turn around the ball is behind you luv. See it… no no… to the left… yeah right there… still can’t see it? Well are you wearing your contacts?

OK… Gotta Run… no seriously… montazoomas revenge for real…

XOXO and Junk.

2008 is quickly coming to a close, and poor Buffy just called ALL in a twitter! Her connection to the interweb is WAY veshtunct at the moment, so she
Was all nervous she wouldn’t get to wish you all a happy new year… I told her I would and reminded her that it happens just about every 365 day so she would be able to make up for it next year.

So from all of us at B&M.com HAPPY NEW YEAR… Just a smudge early while mommie is still sober and stuff.

XOXO and junk!

Hmph.

OMG!!!!! Buffy… It finally happened! For Christmas this year I got arrested! I asked Santa for YEARS and this year he finally came through! Here’s the story….
So the cops showed up at my crib (yo) at like noon…. BUT I totally thought it was strippers like the ones you got me last year…. So I motioned like i was going grab at their, um, “night sticks” and, well, THEN I found out that Miranda AIN’T just a character on that Prissy-bitch Sluts in the City Show!

But, either way, I’m sure it was Santa that sent them there real cops this time! And boy was jail interesting! Aside from the orange clothes and having to do what your told it’s quite a hoot!

I was sad though… Cause as you know I wanted to go to jail to get a poncho like Martha’s but, alas, all I got was a wicked good tattoo and a permanent record! Oh well, it’s still one more item I can check off the bucket list!

XOXO and Junk!

Oh… P.S…. I used you visa for bail, so you might ha e to make a payment before you can use it for anymore of your QVC stuff again!

I’d like to welcome The Countess Kiki Phensberger DeLago as an Author on the new and improved Buffy and MaryLou net. OK so Buffy is new and improved, I was always perfect, and like Joan Rivers NEVER need work! Oh that reminds me… I watched her special on logo last night (Joan I mean) it was on demand… That was some funny shyte! I have a new found respect for that woman…. but I digress…

The Countess should be posting fairly quickly… but don’t rush her, she’ll do it when she’s ready… got it?!

XOXO n junk.

What the heck?! I take my eye off the ball for one second and BAM! 2009 sneeks up outta nowhere!

Hard to believe it’s so darn close!

I tried eating that peanutbutter stuff… all Elvis style — you know with bananas! Pretty good actually! Who knew? I was sure it was just a gum-getter-out-er-er…. and btw… if you don’t put it in your hair, what do you do with gum when you’re done with it?

XOXO n Junk.