Ok, some of the women officers, I’m a sucker for a badge.

Marylou, I didn’t ake a big deal about you being arrested, because it’s kinda a common thing…do you have your own cell number now! I mean really, when the police call you by name and ask if you’d like your regular….um, that’s more everyday to me than breakfast in bed!

Bless your heart…whatever! You know I love you, whatever…so what…do you want me to put an officer costume on and make you feel more at home?

Love You, Mean It!

Tis the season for generosity and kindness given to others and I know that the two of you have given more than most. What about some love and kindness for each other? Poor MaryLou being arrested and on Christmas. The injustice! Honey did they come to your house or just your corner? Please do not pretend that this was the first time you were “abducted”!

We were merely trying to let this unfortunate incident pass without too much media. Poor thing, if TMZ were to pick up on this you would be the center of a media scandal. Just look what happened to Lindsey and Britney when they went out for the night, forget going out in cuffs (though Britney did show her muff).

If you ever need anything, call Buffy to bail you out. She has done most of the force!

I thought I was high maintenance, and I am, but you take the cake….jail, first now this….I’m going shopping!

Love You, Mean It!

Hmph.

OMG!!!!! Buffy… It finally happened! For Christmas this year I got arrested! I asked Santa for YEARS and this year he finally came through! Here’s the story….
So the cops showed up at my crib (yo) at like noon…. BUT I totally thought it was strippers like the ones you got me last year…. So I motioned like i was going grab at their, um, “night sticks” and, well, THEN I found out that Miranda AIN’T just a character on that Prissy-bitch Sluts in the City Show!

But, either way, I’m sure it was Santa that sent them there real cops this time! And boy was jail interesting! Aside from the orange clothes and having to do what your told it’s quite a hoot!

I was sad though… Cause as you know I wanted to go to jail to get a poncho like Martha’s but, alas, all I got was a wicked good tattoo and a permanent record! Oh well, it’s still one more item I can check off the bucket list!

XOXO and Junk!

Oh… P.S…. I used you visa for bail, so you might ha e to make a payment before you can use it for anymore of your QVC stuff again!

Wow, I got so much cool stuff….can’t wait to tell you all about it!

Love Ya, Mean It!

Buffy, I did not realize that you knew Seth as well. He is simply top drawer, I must agree. Well today is his birthday and all of us here at the palace are thinking of him. Actually we will have a glass of bubby to celebrate his birth. Lots of pressure don’t you know considering tomorrow is Christmas. Lots to do about the celebration of Christ birthday, Seth should not feel slighted that the same attention is not being paid to his birthday. You know the Count Phensberger birthday was 10 days ago and he is slightly pissed off about the attention to that birthday not his. I think he wants to buy a country to fix that…

Cheers, Ladies!

CKP, HRH

Marylou, I don’t know if you know this guy, but, if not, you should meet…his name is Seth and he’s a pretty great guy. I’m not sure how old he is, but, he’s old believe me…now he’s got this great dog as well.

Anyway, Seth is a person you need to know…don’t tell him I said that, because he can kinda get a big head.

Anyway, with everyone thinking about what to get me for Christmas, they should put some time aside and think of old people like Seth and just be grateful!

Grateful not to have a reseading hairline and a minor gut!

A big birthday cheer goes out to my friend Seth…he’s the best, I don’t care what anyone says!
Off to get my hair did!

Love Ya, Mean It!

Please allow me to introduce myself; I am the Countess Kiki Phensberger, HRH. Of course these two bitches have known me since before I needed as much work as Joan Rivers – despite what MaryLou has to say. She has had more work done than the Big Dig – MaryLou, not Joan. MaryLou sponsored me at the Betty Ford Center for Reconstructive Surgery – ever grateful honey! But I digress… that happens a lot.

I look forward to sharing my whit and wisdom with you on current topics and based on what Buffy & MaryLou have to say!

Merry Christmas to all – grab a martini. That is what I am doing anyway. If someone tells you it is too early in the day, set an old clock to 4:01 PM and show them that you’re right on time! Cheers.

I’d like to welcome The Countess Kiki Phensberger DeLago as an Author on the new and improved Buffy and MaryLou net. OK so Buffy is new and improved, I was always perfect, and like Joan Rivers NEVER need work! Oh that reminds me… I watched her special on logo last night (Joan I mean) it was on demand… That was some funny shyte! I have a new found respect for that woman…. but I digress…

The Countess should be posting fairly quickly… but don’t rush her, she’ll do it when she’s ready… got it?!

XOXO n junk.