So… like… Yeah… aaaaa maaaaaa gaaaaaa…
OK… First the Good News: I FINALLY got on TV.
Now the bad news: You know that show “Locked up Abroad?” Yeah… or in my case it could also be “Locked up *A BROAD*” – Get it?

Yeah but this time it wasn’t my fault, I swear!

I went on a quick trip to Columbia… and, well, I was planning on being back before Midnight on the 31rst… but, well, I met this SUPER cute boy…. ok he was totally 100% man, but I like to say boy… I just do… don’t judge me… anyway… I was totally GAGA ’cause he was all like… I luv chu… that was his accent.. super cute… anyway… he says to me… “Baby… I am heading back to the massachusetts later, but I have lots of the bags… and it ‘cost-es’ lots of monies if you have lots of extra baaags on the airlines… so can you take one back for me? It’s all my chooose…”  - which after a few minutes I realized meant shoes… so I was like… OMG… he trusts me with his SHOES?

This must totally be love…

Yeah… no… it wasn’t shoes… cause when I got to the airport… those sniffer dogs… yeah… they were smelling more than loafers…. 

So this like policewoman comes over and she’s all like… get in this jail, broad. So, being as compliant as I am, I naturally complied… BAAAAAHAHAHAHAAHA… I know… I couldn’t even say that without laughing… anyway… once they shot me with a tranquilizer I woke up in the icky jail cell with some woman named Stella. Er Stanley… I wasn’t sure, I didn’t really pay that close of attention cause she was SOOOO not willing to understand me no matter how loud I yelled my answers. RUDE. Anyway… Thankfully I had my “Get out of Jail Free” card from playing Monopoly right before I left for my trip, so I used it. Don’t ask where I had it stored though… you really don’t wanna know…

anyway…

Moral of the story? Always cheat at monopoly before you travel.

Oh and Buffy… sorry you missed the new year… but turn around the ball is behind you luv. See it… no no… to the left… yeah right there… still can’t see it? Well are you wearing your contacts?

OK… Gotta Run… no seriously… montazoomas revenge for real…

XOXO and Junk.

OMG!!!!! Buffy… It finally happened! For Christmas this year I got arrested! I asked Santa for YEARS and this year he finally came through! Here’s the story….
So the cops showed up at my crib (yo) at like noon…. BUT I totally thought it was strippers like the ones you got me last year…. So I motioned like i was going grab at their, um, “night sticks” and, well, THEN I found out that Miranda AIN’T just a character on that Prissy-bitch Sluts in the City Show!

But, either way, I’m sure it was Santa that sent them there real cops this time! And boy was jail interesting! Aside from the orange clothes and having to do what your told it’s quite a hoot!

I was sad though… Cause as you know I wanted to go to jail to get a poncho like Martha’s but, alas, all I got was a wicked good tattoo and a permanent record! Oh well, it’s still one more item I can check off the bucket list!

XOXO and Junk!

Oh… P.S…. I used you visa for bail, so you might ha e to make a payment before you can use it for anymore of your QVC stuff again!